ZThemes

all you're seeing is your lies

You had your chance but now you've blown it.

Remy LeBeau. Gambit. X-Man, Thief, and God knows what else on occasion.

((This is an independent RP blog for 616!Gambit, willing to RP with almost anyone. FC is Jacey Elthalion.))

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

"Or maybe you can go rob the Smithsonian, instead of tryin’ to steal alien tech from industrial crooks! That might cut down on your shitstorms!”

And that’s the moment Shogo reminds them he’s even there, making a sound and kicking his little legs. Rogue huffs and blinks rapidly at the shine in her eyes, pushing her hair back. It’s then she realizes her gloves are gone. Forgetting where she put them for a moment, Rogue looks around herself before snatching them up to pull them on in stiff, frustrated jerks. She sniffs before wiping at her nose again, the red in her face paling to a pink as she gets herself further away from crying.

"You know what?" she asks, stiffly, looking down at her hands as she tries to straighten the fabric on her fingers. "Ah lied to INTERPOL about you ‘cause you matter. Ah left the Avengers without permission an’ took one of their jets without askin’ because you matter. Ah trudged through the snow an’ fought ninja with jet packs because you matter. An’ you know what else?” She gets off the bed to stand in front of him.

"Ah tried to save Joelle because she matters to you.” She crosses her arms, upset for no reason and every reason. “Ah knew your new girlfriend wanted to kill herself because of what she was, but all Ah could think about is how sad that’d make you, so Ah tried to stop it.” Rogue can’t look at him anymore, and instead turns to look at the baby on the bed. Shogo just keeps grasping the sheets and tugging.

"You matter." Her voice thick, heavy. "Don’t you tell meh Ah act like you don’t."

"She weren’t m’girlfriend, Rogue.” Remy says, his voice low and heavy, anger and weariness trying to shove each other around in his tone. He almost glowers, eyes bright, as he watches Rogue fuss with Shogo. 

He doesn’t speak for a few long moments, instead finding something other than the woman in front of him to look at. It isn’t Shogo, if only because there’s a not insignificant part of him that realizes the baby didn’t do anything wrong, and the baby doesn’t deserve that kind of expression angled in his direction.

"How’s it we get t’dis place? Y’all tellin’ me you put yer ass on de line f’me b’cause I matter, but when it ain’t life’r deat’, when it ain’t ninjas wit’ jetpacks or whatever ot’er r’diculous t’ing comes after us in de night, but when t’ings’re quiet it’s like …I don’ know, chere, feels like dere ain’t any answer f’me t’give dat ain’t gonna end up wit’ you more pissed at me den you ‘lready is.” He spreads his hands, sullen and unhappy.

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

Stop it.”

By the time he’s done talking, her head is in her hands, her fingers in her hair. She takes a long, shuddering breath to steady herself, not trusting her voice immediately. It’s all flirting in passing. Maybe her teeth will graze her lips too much while they talk in the hall; maybe his hand will rest far too low on her back when they move through a door together. Or she might brush her breasts against his arms when she leans over to eat off his plate at dinner without asking, and he’ll just keep talking to whomever is across the way while his hand moves from her knee beneath the table, to further up her thigh. 

But whenever the conversation turns to something deeper than the weather, it immediately falls in to the darkest, deepest wound they have between the two of them at the time. “Stop actin’ like you’re so helpless an’ lost, when you’re just bored.” Rogue lifts her head up slowly, her fingernails dragging down her face.

"You didn’t have any troubles for almost two years on Utopia. You didn’t have any troubles in Australia, or San Fransico. Ah heard from Jubilee all about how wonderful your time was in France with Laura was. You’ve got your damn life under control,” she states the last part with a bitterness. “You made a decision.”

The disappointingly familiar prickling sensation of tears burns behind her eyes, as she gives him her full attention. “An’ you have always mattered all the Goddamn time.”

"I ain’t actin’ helpless, I’m actin’ restless, it’s jus’ who I am.” Remy frustrates, watching Rogue turtle up, his mouth turned down in a sharp frown. "I ain’t never dealt well wit’ bein’ bored. I make m’stakes, I makes stupid d’cisions. Gotten better ‘bout it over de years, but you an’ I bot’ know I’m far from perfect, an’ de whole damn school d’serves better’n de kinda shitstorm comes from me makin’ m’stakes.”

There’s something distraught, something almost lost about his bright eyes when he looks at her, searching her own sad expression and noting the nearness to tears. “Yeah? Dere been days y’coulda fooled mechere. I tol’ you b’fore: I don’ want t’be a pit stop, I don’ wan’ t’be de sometimes t’ing.”

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

She scoffs, shaking her head. “Don’t try an’ blame meh for that,” Rogue tells him, her smile a bit mean. “Like the second Ah leave your sight, you’re gonna have a midlife crisis. Like Ah’m the only thing that keeps you good…” Shaking her head again, “No, you are well past usin’ that excuse.”

Rogue knows Remy’s tells for when he’s getting angry. It’s about one of the only things he can’t hide from his expression and body language. It’s a slow burn, unlike Rogue’s flash fire. In fact, the only reason she hasn’t fallen into a more familiar tantrum is because of Shogo’s presence. A crying baby can be as hard to appease as a crying Rogue, and the whole mansion doesn’t need to be any more privy to her personal life than they have been.

"Ah’m sayin’," she answers after a moment of silence. She’s not looking at him, her eyes cast down to the side.  "Ah want to know it’s still a break.” While her expression is clearly an attempt to look angry, it’s thinly veiling the hurt her statement clearly makes her feel. “Your life is takin’ you pretty far away from meh, Remy. You ignore mah calls; ya don’t want to come around anymore.” She has to clear her throat to ease the tightness away. 

"Ah give you an out, to come back, an’ you…” She sniffs, busying herself with Shogo again. “An’ you just wannna go further.” Rogue shrugs, in a very failed attempt at nonchalance. “Seems to meh you’re done with the break, an’ are just breakin’ it off altogether.”

"Rogue, it ain’t a midlife crisis, it’s been a whole life crisis. It’s who I am, de minute I feel like I ain’t on solid ground, de second I don’ know what I’m doin’, de whole house o’cards starts comin’ down an’ I’m runnin’ ‘round like a headless chicken tryin’ t’figure out where de pieces go.” Remy growls in deep frustration, making that gesture with his hands again. This is about where he would have lit a cigarette, years ago, if he weren’t inside the mansion, near a baby, and ostensibly having quit. The muscle memory is still there, in the way his fingers flicker.

He makes a visible effort to rein his temper in again, to haul it back and push it down and force himself to be the one who stays calm and rational while Rogue’s own temper boils over. Mostly this means not looking at Rogue, or at poor Shogo, but instead still glaring daggers at the wall. Luckily he doesn’t start things charging from afar any more.

"I made a m’stake. D’accord? One m’stake. De damn t’ing snowballed, b’cause wit’ me, dere ain’t no l’il m’stake. Fact o’de matter is, no matter how much I put on de suit an’ tie and pr’tend like I got somet’in’ wort’while t’teach dese kids, I’m a t’ief at de end o’de day. Even if I put dat whole t’ing aside an’ never look at it ‘gain, I made a lot o’enemies f’me in dat time an’ f’all I know dey still comin’ f’me. F’all I know I still got ‘Pocalypses voodoo layin’ low in m’brain waitin’ to come out at de worst poss’ble moment. Left t’my own devices, yeah, I start wonderin’ what I’m doin’ sittin’ on m’ass puttin’ all dese kids an’ folks at risk when dey d’serve hell’ve a lot better. I mean, hellyou d’serve a lot better too, but y’all seemed willin’ t’give me a shot ‘nyway.” Remy’s voice trails off a little, and he makes an unhappy, unsettled sound in the front of his throat. “‘Least f’a while. Y’know, I was comin’ round after dat debacle wit’ Joelle. T’come visit. I was lit’rally at de gate when Wisdom d’cided I gotta come do favors f’Queen an’ Country. Dat one ain’t my fault.”

His eyebrows drop, and briefly those burning eyes dart to Rogue again. The red just keeps on getting brighter, a surefire sign that he’s still angry and getting moreso. “Y’all so good at makin’ up m’mind for me. How you t’ink I feel? You want me at arm’s lengt’ but no furt’er. I ain’t ‘llowed close but I ain’t ‘llowed outta yer sight neit’er. Anna, I ain’t a child an’ I ain’t a pet dog y’can keep on a leash an’ teach tricks when it suits you. I don’ wanna spend m’whole life pinin’ after somet’in’ I ain’t ‘llowed t’have, I don’ wan’ t’be ‘mportant t’you when it’s convenient, I want all de time.”

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

"Don’t do what,” she asks sharply. Rogue has to work to keep her voice down, not wanting to upset Shogo. It’s a struggle, though; this argument has been a long time coming, and Rogue feels that his ignoring her calls, her texts, her, has largely been in avoidance of it.

Which just makes her more angry. For all of Rogue’s straight forwardness, her hypocrisy shows mostly when Remy is involved. Spending much of her days as an acceptable loss or just constantly putting anyone else first, her relationship with him is the only thing Rogue has really allowed herself to be selfish with. That’s a lot of pent up feelings, however, to be taking out on one person.

You were the one that wanted to get back together right away,” she reminds him. Shogo rolls his large head to look between the two of them. “An’ when Ah worried Ah’d wake up next to a corpse ‘cause mah control wasn’t permanent, you wanted to wait. An’ when you realized Ah was way more messed up from Legion’s dream world than Ah thought, you talked meh into waitin’. Told meh you were mah home, mah harbor, not some port in the storm. That you’d be there when it all calmed down. Waitin’.

Waitin’,” and her roses raises just a bit, “was your idea.”

Her hands fall to her knees with a smack sound. “So what? If we hadn’t waited, you’re sayin’ you would have broken it off to go rob the Queen, have a tryst with some chick on a suicide mission?” Rogue shakes her head in disbelief, unimpressed.

"Ah’m startin’ to wonder who all this time off was for,” she comments, turning her attention to back to Shogo with a scowl. “Seems like you need a lot more than Ah did.” 

"You know what I don’ want you t’do.” Remy grumbles back, scowling briefly at Rogue as they end up going down the road anyway. The scowl fades off into a sigh, and he lifts one hand to push it through his hair, mindless of the powdered sugar on his fingers. The tupperware gets set aside.

He still doesn’t look at her as the anger rolls over him, although there’s a tightening in his shoulders and hands that belies that the Cajun isn’t feeling too relaxed either. “Non, what I’m sayin’ is ‘f we’da still been t’get’er, I’da never got t’dat point.”  His voice is deeply weary, eyes trying to drill a hole into the nearest point on the wall.

"You said y’needed time t’find y’self. Most I wanted was t’be sure you was sure. You really wan’ t’go back an’ fort’ wit’ dis, over an’ over?” He makes a frustrated gesture with both hands, and then reigns it in again, finally straightening a little to eye Rogue out of the corners of his.

Then his eyes narrow. “Are you sayin’ you ready t’be done takin’ a break?”

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

She ignores his comment about how she’ll act when his shirt comes off, though it’s not really in favour of the other topic. Her hands are very busy, straightening Shogo’s onesie and smoothing out the sheets around. 

"Since you’re out lookin’ so hard for new leaves," she comments her eyebrows raised, but her eyes down. "Guess it must just be mine.”

"Damnit, Rogue, no, don’ you do dis. Not t’me, not t’yerself.” Remy bristles, and true to form, his eyes dark back to her, the red burn just a little brighter than it was before. “You said you needed time. D’accord. I try t’give it t’you an’, what, dat was fine ‘long as you figured it was ‘bvious I was sittin ‘round wit’ my t’umbs up m’ass waitin’ ‘round? But den I figure, mebbe I use dis time you need t’get m’own life in order, and now you mad about it?”

He shakes his head, making a frustrated huff of sound by pushing air out of his mouth, through his bangs. Just was quickly as he looked at Rogue, he looks away again, staring hard at a nebulous point at the wall. His voice is low, grumbly and unhappy. “I t’ought I had it all figured out. Turned out you had ot’er plans. Why’s it upset you so much I’m tryin’ t’sort it out ‘gain?”

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

"That’s not even a little bit true." 

She’s never liked when he speaks lowly of himself. For whatever insults she can sling his way in an argument, she won’t stand for anyone speaking poorly of him—including himself. Shogo is slipping down her leg, and she moves to sit spread eagle, with him flat on his back on the mattress. Her feet push away more of the blankets. 

"Ya’ll keep that top on while this baby’s here," she warns him, keeping her eyes on Shogo as she makes him comfortable in the sheets. "Don’t need Jubilee wanderin’ on in to find you all indecent.”

As he goes on though, her small smile vanishes all together. “No, the ones you had before that. The leaves you have here. The ones you’ve always had an’ go lookin’ away from.” She flicks her eyes to him, a clear pout on her pretty feature. “What about mah leaf.”

Gambit’s mouth turns up briefly on one side, although he doesn’t push whether his previous disparaging comment is accurate enough. This many years down the road, he’s learned to pick some of his battles. Some of them.

"Oh, I see, whatchu really worried ‘bout is how y’ain’t gon’ be able t’keep y’hands off me if I go takin’ m’shirt off. D’accord, dis time, I take pity on you. But jus’ dis time, neh?”

Remy sighs as Rogue looks at him, and his eyes trace away, face dipping downwards and to the side. Sometimes it seems like he only ever meets her eyes when he’s mad. “What ‘bout your leaf, petite? Issit your leaf, or issit ours?”

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

Hmph,” Rogue shoots him another look. “Ah think you’re a little too eager to advertise that quality.”

She snorts at his suggestion, her tongue running along her teeth as she lets Shogo switch to her other hand. “You learn that the same place Bobby heard sex is good for the immune system, an’ that he’d plain hate for one of us to get sick?” Her unimpressed look melts away to a smile. “You ain’t gettin’ dinner and a show, Cajun.” Readjusting Shogo, “Ah think you’ve seen meh topless plenty.”

Rogue wipes her drool covered hands on Shogo’s onesie as Gambit goes on. She’s clearly unhappy about his answer. “How many new leaves do you need,” she asks, keeping her eyes on the baby. She starts rubbing his little belly, and he coughs a laugh up at her. “What’s wrong with the leaves you have?”

"I got so few qualities y’might call good ones, I gotta sell what I got, chere.” Remy practically chirrups in response, clearly unashamed about the look he’s earned himself.

His expression is, however, far more pensive than anything else, eyes mostly on the baby and less on things that might get uncovered if Rogue were to take his advice. “Non,” He drawls, and for once it sounds like Remy isn’t teasing her. “Funny, de t’ings y’run across ‘bout chilluns when you teachin’ de class on how t’avoid havin’ dem. I meant it, ‘s good for dem. Do it m’self if y’ain’t willin’, but hell, I ain’t gon’ be takin’ my shirt off if it’s gonna go unappreciated-like.” He isn’t going to mention that there might have been a lot of wistful research done, years ago, when it seemed like a family might have been anything other than a distant pipe dream.

There’s a little cringe that plays across his face, and then the Cajun’s voice is almost fragile, or maybe delicate, the sound of a man picking through a minefield. “Anna, s’il vous plait. You jus’ on me ‘bout how I been runnin’ ‘round Hell’s half-acre gettin’ all mixed up in God knows what an’ not answerin’ calls. Dat’s de color o’de leaves I got, an’ seems t’me dere’s a lot o’dem, an’ you ain’t too happy wit’ dem. Well, comin’ on fall anyway, ain’t it? Y’want me t’get m’head on straight, don’t you?”

thexjean:

"So far it’s been going quite well. It’s just refreshing to be back at the school. And how about you, dear?"

image

"Oh, I been hangin’ on. Ain’t dead yet, I figure dat’s somet’in’. Uh. No…offense, or not’in’, neh? Takin’ a l’il breat’er after bein’ in de UK fer a bit.”

posted Aug.06.13 + 3 notes + reblog

Just A Thought

aroguedeviation:

"Oh, you’re a hit with everythin’ female,” she grumbles, her worry giving way to an old annoyance. She could be married to anyone else, and the attention Remy receives from women would still strike a nerve. Looking down at Shogo, “He’s got a pacifier, but he don’t like it. Or somethin’; he just spits it out an’ cries. He really likes mah hands, though, gloves or no.” Shogo rolls his head back and his eyes up to look at her, like he knows she’s talking about him. An idea comes to her then, one she hadn’t considered.

"Ah think he’s still small enough to be breast feedin’, an’ since that ain’t how he gets his milk anymore, he just likes the skin contact.” She can understand that feeling. Rogue stares at him.

He stares back.

"Anyway," she sighs, looking back to Remy. “The trouble deterrent from joinin’ the Avengers is you ain’t gonna have the time to get yourself into new messes. ‘tween the school an’ here, you’ll be lucky to get six hours sleep in two days.”

Remy’s smile is a little lopsided, rakish and familiar. “Hey, now, ain’t my fault when les femmes r’cognize quality, chere.” The little jab, meant in good humor, doesn’t last, however, as he considers Rogue and Shogo’s interactions.

After a few moments he volunteers, “Bien sur, I t’ink I read somewhere dat it’s good f’babies dat ain’t big ‘nough t’walk none t’have a lot o’skin t’skin contact. Like mebbe y’supposed t’take y’shirt off and let him chill out wit’ you in a diaper or somet’in’.” His voice goes very philosophical a second later. “Not dat I figure dere’s a whole lotta chance o’dat happenin’ while I’m in de room.” He ain’t that lucky.

"I don’ know, it don’t ever seem t’work out dat way. I t’ink ‘bout it. I mean it, I give it a good t’ink t’rough. Seems dere a lot o’options on de table righ’ now an’ I wan’ t’try an’ figure out what’s best f’everybody. Call it a new leaf, neh?” Remy drags his eyes away from Rogue and Shogo to look at his own sugar-covered hands.